Cooking Gone Bad
by Durbe the Barian
Summary: This is the one reason you shouldn't cook with Vector around. It backfires. Co-written by Justanotherdreamgirl. - Short oneshot.


**Zexal Oneshot**

**Cooking Gone Bad**

**Humor**

**Seven Barian Emperors**

**This is the one reason you shouldn't cook with Vector around. It backfires. Co-written by Justanotherdreamgirl.**

**(Don't own Zexal. If I did, little Siri-chan would be in it.)**

* * *

Cooking Gone Bad

* * *

What was going through their heads when they chose to dine in the human world? Or worse, why they chose to eat with Vector around?! Trouble. That was the only thing that could describe what they were about to get into that night. Trouble with a capitol V.

V for Vector.

* * *

(At the BARian.)

"Vector, have you finished working on the first part of dinner?" Durbe asked, placing some plates on the table.

Vector let out a half-hearted chuckle. He was desperately trying to keep everything silent, so as to prevent them from learning too early what he had been doing. Sliding something into the oven, Vector chuckled and said, "I'm done with my work," he said. "Who's up next?"

"That's me!" Alit said, getting up and walking into the kitchen.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to let the simpleton go next?" Misael asked. "I've seen him. He can't even make a sandwich without setting it on fire."

Durbe let out a sigh. "I am not entirely certain," he said, "but we cannot behave as proper human beings unless we know how to properly handle sustenance and render it edible."

Misael then looked over to Alit, who was working in the kitchen, beating the eggs to oblivion. "But does **he** have to be the next person to handle cooking?" Then he mentally added, "I'd like to keep my stomach."

* * *

Alit began to hum happily as he continued to beat the eggs. "This is easy," he said happily.

"Um...Alit?" Durbe asked.

Startled, Alit jumped and turned around, splattering Durbe with egg white.

He froze for a minute. Then he hid his hands behind his back. "Sorry," he said. "So, uh, what'd you want to talk about, Durbe?"

Durbe simply looked into the bowl that Alit was using, a nonchalant expression painting his face. "When they say 'beat the eggs,' I don't think they meant literally."

Misael then looked over his shoulder and into the bowl.

Then he wrinkled his nose. "Why are all the eggshells in with the eggs?" he asked. "ALIT! Do you even know how to cook!?"

"I know how to cook!" Alit said defiantly. "You follow the instructions that the book tells you, set the oven really high, and watch until they turn really brown."

"That's a guaranteed way to kill us!" Misael growled.

"Um...Alit, are you sure you read the instructions right?" Gilag asked.

"I did!" Alit said. "See!? It says 'beat eggs until it forms peaks!' I've been beating it, but I don't see any peaks. No Barian peak. No Earth peaks. No Astral World peaks."

Durbe sighed. "Alit, they don't mean real peaks. It's a cooking term."

Alit then looked at the meal. "Oh," he said. "Now you tell me!"

"Forget it!" Misael snapped. "I'm not eating whatever **he** cooks!"

"Then I'll handle the cooking myself," Durbe said. "So please, enough with the arguments."

"Okay," they all said silently.

"Need any help, Durbe?" Rio asked, entering the already slightly stuffed kitchen.

Durbe blushed slightly and looked away. "R-Rio," he said. "I don't see why not."

"I can," Ryoga said, leaning against the counter. "I can count three right now."

Misael, Alit, and Gilag all had question marks over their heads.

Then Gilag started sniffing. "Does something smell really bad?" he asked.

Everybody else sniffed around shortly after. "You're right," Durbe said. "What's that stench?"

They all then looked to the oven.

And the temperature Vector was dumb enough to put it at.

600 degrees.

All eyes widened.

"Why would he set it that high!?" Durbe exclaimed, racing forward and turning the temperature down. "That's ridiculous!"

"Is the food that Vector made still okay?" Alit asked worriedly.

"Wait a minute," Durbe thought. "Vector wasn't cooking anything that had to be put in the oven."

"I'll check," Gilag said, reaching forward to open the oven door.

That's when Durbe connected the dots. "Don't open the oven!" he shouted.

Too late.

* * *

[KABAAAM!]

* * *

"AGH!"

Hearing the high-pitched scream from the kitchen, Vector walked inside and leaned against the refrigerator. "So, what did I miss?" he asked.

All eyes were directed to the madman in the kitchen. Absolutely everybody was covered in raw fudge and cake batter. Devil's food and Funfetti. Really good flavors. Not so good on them.

Vector's face turned tomato red as he choked on his laughter. "Well, don't you all look like works of art," he choked out.

"You planned this, didn't you?" Durbe asked, as calmly as he could while he placed his hands on his glasses and proceeded to pull them off. Much easier to see when you're not looking through rainbow sprinkles.

"Oh, yes!" Vector laughed. "You all look magnificent!"

"Vector," Misael growled, "you have exactly two seconds to race out of this bar before I place **you** in the oven."

"Don't need to tell me twice," Vector cackled. "See you in Barian World, Cakians." ←[Cake + Barians.]

Then he vanished into the overlay network, leaving 6 very fuming Barians in the room.

"I'm going to kill him," Misael growled.

"And I'll help you out," Ryoga snarled.

"After we all get cleaned up, let's go out to eat," Rio sighed.

"I shall agree with that suggestion, Rio," Durbe said, shaking the cake batter off of his hands.

The next hour and a half was spent in the shower, with everybody taking turns to get the batter off of them.

Then the three hours after that was spent finding Vector and getting him into a mess of his own.

A bitter taste of his own batter medicine.

* * *

**D.T.B: Yay! New oneshot from Justanotherdreamgirl and myself! Please review our story. :)**


End file.
